its for the best.

things have gotten better for me. my heart is no longer suffering from confusion. i know what i needed to do, and i did it. and it just might of been for the best.

i've felt better about some people, which is a really good thing for me, i couldnt let all that nonsense control my daily attitude, it wasnt healthy. senior year is approaching it's sad ending and all i can seem to do now, is finish up last minute work, and enjoy the last bits of moments that high school has to offer. im eager to see what this summer has to offer, license? car? tattoo?... love?... who knows, summer isnt that far away, so i wont be waiting that long. im also eager to see what a new environment will bring to my life, im so excited to begin my life at Santa Barbara, so excited to experience new things, i jst dont have the words to express it.. well i guess i jst did. HA. life is starting to be good again, and im glad it is. (:

why is this happening to me?

What is this I'm feeling?... Something is very slowly growing on me, and I'm not sure if I should let it grow. I feel like jst letting fate decide all of this, but then I think that I SHOULD be the one to decide, not fate. I feel like I'm risking something that I don't wanna risk losing. I dont want have an awkward starfish in my face, and I feel like if this keeps growing, that starfish is surely gonna be planted on my face. Why mee!! Facken shit!.. I surely am setting myself up for a pickle!... I'm sooo confused... Should I?, or shouldn't I?... Gahhhhh! I don't know what to do..

Well, for right now, this feeling is very small, we'll see how things go as the days pass. We'll see if this is jst another phase of mine.

alcohol.

so theres been lots of talk about alcohol lately, and how crazy drunk my friends got during their spring break, and i cant help but wonder how i would act if i ever got drunk. i wonder if i would be crazy or something, LOL, im actually intrigued with the thought haha... i want to test it out, but i want to do it while i know i wont be going home for the night, cause i mean, me coming home drunk or staying somewhere without calling is not my ideal thing to do while living in this household. ill probably test it out during college, but i wish i could a little earlier, just to see how i would act, and so i wouldnt make a fool of myself in college, if i do get that crazy.

now i do regret not going to mexico this spring break, haha, o well will never know what could have happened if i would of gone haha, cant do anything about it anymore. but i do want to get wasted! LOL. (:

may

its officially may.. wow. and before i know it, its going to be june. and before i know its going to be june, it'll be june 11... its getting closer. and the anticipation just keeps rising. i honestly will just be relieved once that day is done and overwith, a sense of accomplishment.. but first i need to get through this month, and 2 weeks.

things are starting to get better, at least thats what i see, so i think things should be fine for the rest of the school year. OC is almost done and overwith aswell, this wendsday if the final for bio lab, which i have no doubt that i will end with an A in that class. now ethics is a different story, i need to see what my grade is in this last test that i took, i also need to do all those homework assignments that i never did. LOL. gahhh. if i get a B in that class ill be fine, but i really dont want another C, itll be like ughhh. but once these two classes are over, im DONE with OC. i dont ever want to take classes there again. im seriously DONE with OC after this month. hahaha. i have no plans to take classes in the summer, and nothing is going to change that, well unless i have a really bad grade in ethics, then i will retake it this summer, but whatever. i think im good.

i recently changed my tongue ring to a more colorful one. i got a rainbow one. super cute. im still fully inlove with my piercing haha. i cant stop playing with it!. lol i also got a few other different rings so i think ill be switching every 2-3 weeks on them. (: